I am going to fire my editor!

While I am certainly no expert in this arena I do work with many dogs whose problems are much more intensified by the time I see them, and I directly attribute that to people the problem, or symptoms thereof, for too long.

I do not know if the problem lies with the breeder or nature but obviously there was some sort of problem from the time you got your pup. You did the best you could and the problem could have been much more severe had you not gone to puppy class.

I hope this finds you and Sadie doing well.

Have you made no progress at all, or are you just sad because Sadie’s behavior isn’t perfect yet? A lot of times we don’t focus on all the progress that has been made because the dog is still reactive sometimes. If the dog reacts for shorter periods of time, or less frequently, or even in a different manner, that can all be signs of progress. It takes time! Tigerlily is almost five years old now, and she isn’t perfectly behaved 100% of the time, but I see all sorts of measurable signs of improvement, she is much faster to adapt to new dogs, much less reactive and as long as you can see that, you’re headed in the right direction.

P.S. I used DAP spray (Dog Appeasing Pheromone) and sprayed it to my pants legs when I brought Tigerlily to early dog/pup classes. I recommend that.

It sounds like you attended Rocky Mountain School of Animal Acupressure and Massage? I didn’t even know of it! I’ll check it out.

In the meantime, if you know of massage therapists in Boulder who you think are top notch I’d be interested in knowing about them. If you want to send that info confidentially, go to the contact page of this blog site.

It’s very sweet of you to be thinking of Sadie and me. We both appreciate it a lot.

Thank you for all your help and recommendations. As I mentioned to you in and email, we will be getting and xanax and probably give it a try for situational challenges. I’ll keep you posted.

Thank you for your support. Hugs to you and Lilly.

I think you are right on! Two things. I agree that “Turid’s approach is most helpful in determining how much is enough/too much. And, second, I think paying deliberate attention to developing a relationship with our puppy or adopted adult dog is really important. (And, Turid is helpful here as well, I believe.) I just didn’t think about it that way when Sadie was a puppy. Of course I can and am doing that now. I like your idea that there is “room for more communication FROM the dog as well as TO the dog.

Thank you so much.

I agree with you that Sadie’s fearfulness likely was do to genetic predisposition and that she needed lots of socialization to all the sorts of things she would experience in life. And, thank you for your support in this, it means a lot.

I think what Turid tapped into at that particular moment was that I hardly ever just hung out with Sadie in safe places to discover who she was, who we were together, and to help her learn to relax with me. We live in the foothills of Boulder, about 25 min from town.Our house is very isolated. So I felt compelled to take Sadie into town everyday. She had down time in the car in her kennel where would sleep when I worked out and ran errands and so on, and eventually when she was comfortable enough she could stay at my friend’s house with her and her dogs during the day. But, we were on the go, go, go. Buy the time evening rolled around, Sadie naturally was tired. So she slept, ate diner and slept some more. Then, in the morning we’d go for a walk, have breakfast, nap, and then off we’d go. I was driven and I think that’s what I regret. It has less to do, as I think about in light of your insightful remarks and those of others, with socializing Sadie, which I agree was/is absolutely necessary, and more to do with my internal state through it all.

I think there is wisdom in both socializing puppies and going to puppy kindergarten and doing all that is necessary to raise a well-adjusted pup. I also think that paying attention to being with our dogs and developing a relationship by watching and listening and gently interacting is important. Learning to relax with each other. And how that would look with each person/puppy would be different just as it is different between moms and their infants. With some puppies and people I’m sure this comes naturally. With Sadie and me, not so much. So it would have taken my paying attention to spending this kind of time.

But, it’s never too late.

Thank you again for your support and clear thinking!

And, yes, Deborah, you provide a very nice house for a lot of good dog people to hang out in!

Thank you for you kind words and support. And, as you guessed, I certainly was pumped up from APDT. There were some terrific presentations by top-notch presenters. I loved being surrounded by throngs of dog lovers.

Thank you for your thoughtful and wise comments. Rorschach indeed! The (my) challenge is to not project my ‘stuff’ onto Sadie and, as you say, “Relax you eyes and your mind and the picture will appear — and it will be amazing.” That’s lovely.

Food for thought. Our behaviorist told me that genetics, poor/non-existent socialization, and early illness (including parvo and kennel cough that turned into pneumonia) likely set Lilly up to be the fearful dog she is. She said it was the perfect/worst recipe for dogs like ours. So, don’t knock yourself around about the socialization work you did. Lilly didn’t have it at all (we assume) and turned out the same way. So, MAYBE, it’s a combo of genetics and early illness that primed Sadie’s fear pump.

If you dog was exhibiting fearful behavior at 10 weeks of age, there is a high likelihood that there is a genetic or neurobiology basis to her fear responses. It is very likely that if you had not poured on the socialization, you would have had a more fearful adult dog, or even a fear aggressive dog when your dog hit social maturity at 18 months.

Again, I like Turid’s perspective. She’s right in that her perspective is a decidedly un-american one in our do/do, achieve/achieve society. There’s value in just “being” with our dogs with no agenda. However, when we’re responsible for helping an anxious, fearful, or aggressive dog feel better, we’re not going to get there by just “being”. I personally believe that you did exactly the right thing with your dog.

Isn’t APDT and social networking great? We can exchange different ideas and incorporate them into our thinking if we’d like. Just remember, you haven’t done anything wrong and your girl is lucky to have you. That’s just my perspective.

Wow! How exciting to not only meet someone you (and I) admire deeply, but have her graciously tell you something that you probably needed right there – right in that moment.

You have been nothing less of a supermom to Sadie. There simply is no room for self-doubt as I see it. But, maybe Turid’ s words were needed right at that moment. Maybe, you would’ve come home all pumped up on APDT juice & had a million things you wanted to do with Sadie, but what Sadie needed from you is to listen. And that’s the message you came home with. I LOVE it!

Hugs to you & Sadie both!
Anna & the Neo Nectar Gang

I have not just one, but two copies of your book! (Although, I hope you won’t mind if I only read 1…). I bought one at the signing and received another as a gift from a client. Coincidently, she’s in your exercise class, MJ Evans. Tucson is such a big small town!

You’ve done the best you can for Sadie. And I’m sure you’re reading her just fine. Susan Sontag would yell at you too if she were still alive about blaming victims of disease for their diseases (I know, you’re not blaming Sadie, but yourself). Turid was just presenting one point of view — one that seems a bit touchy-feely to me, to be quite honest. It’s not the be all and end all.