It’s day five. I’m down for the count with some kind of vile upper respiratory crud. It feels like Marmaduke is sitting on my chest. I have just enough energy to feel guilty about not blogging, and especially about not providing my Sadie girl with her usual round of fun daily activities. This has been a very long, boring week in dog time.
About once a day I rally enough to peruse Facebook to see what my friends are up to. There I stumbled upon Debbie Jacob’s insightful, not-to-be-missed post Encouraging Naughty (Fearfuldogs.com). I laughed in sympathy with Debbie. Luxuriating rolls in fragrant goose poop (or fox poop, or deer poop), no matter how naughty a confidence building exercise it might be for my fearful dog, stretches beyond the reach of my good-will. With one exception. Sadie can rock n’ roll in said poop all she pleases during our pit-stop on the way to the groomer.
Debbie’s post reminded me of an old one of mine that I published in June, 2009, What Makes Your Dog Really Happy? It’s not so much about being naughty, but it is about having fun, not to mention that posting it extenuated a little guilt.
Okay. Now I’m going back to sleep.
*******
You will never have a ‘normal’ dog no matter how much counter-conditioning and desensitization you do. No matter how many hours of training you invest. At least that’s how I condensed Dr. Nicholas Dodman’s lecture on fearfulness and fear aggression.
“You can rehabilitate, but there is no cure. And, there is a tendency to relapse.”
Thanks. I needed that.
It’s not that I don’t know this, mind you. I just hate being reminded of it. It’s like my doctor telling me, “Now remember, no matter how carefully you avoid gluten, or how good you feel as a result, you still have celiac disease. All hell could break loose if you lighten up your vigilance, even just a little.”
Just like gluten seems to be in everything, frightening things turn up anywhere, anytime, and often unannounced. I’m constantly ‘on duty,’ assessing every situation for it’s likely rank (1-10) on Sadie’s ‘Scale of Scariness,’ or SOS, as I affectionately call it.
A couple seated at a table outside the Brewing Market, a local coffee house, quietly chatting? Easy. That was a ‘1’. Sadie, enjoyed greeting the seated humans, and even moved in closer for a back rub. Yeah!
A man sporting a flying saucer-like hat silhouetted against the blue sky, teetering down the trail with walking poles? Rank that perfect storm of triggers an ‘8’, at least.
Sometimes we hit the jackpot. We can go for days without encountering anything higher than a ‘3.’ No doubt this is partly due to luck, but it’s also a result of teamwork. Sadie and I are pretty good at avoiding or maneuvering our way through, say, a gauntlet of construction barriers, tractors and hardhats. Of course, it helped that the crew was eating lunch and the machinery was quiet.
Not long ago, after a few uneventful days, I lulled myself into thinking of Sadie as being a ‘normal’ dog.
Then WHACK! Like the succession of hail storms we’ve endured recently, Zeus hurled lightening bolts of scary things at us, one after the other. The guy in the flying-saucer hat was followed closely by a rickety plank in the wood bridge near the farmer’s market. Sadie hates, really hates, things wobbling under her feet. She freaked and escaped the evil bridge by pulling both of us into the path of an oncoming bicycle. Thankfully the bicyclist’s reflexes were superb. That episode was clearly a ‘9’.
A day later, Sadie was lying quietly by my side while I browsed dog magazines. Then, “Rrrroooffff, rrroooffff!” Sadie’s barrel-chested barking shattered the calm.
“Does she bite?” the startled woman whimpered.
“She never has,” I told her truthfully. “But, you really scared her. I think she felt threatened because you were crouching towards her tentatively and waving your hand in her face.” (I glimpsed this from the corner of my eye as soon as Sadie went off). Rank? ‘8.5.’
Of course I apologized, and, kindly, so did the would-be-head-petter who meant no harm.
The good news is that Sadie is recovering much faster than she used to from these high-ranking SOS episodes. She actually made up to the ‘crouching woman.’ As for me? Not so much.
There are times, like today, when I just feel exhausted at the prospect of getting suited up, so to speak, to ward off the scary things. To be totally ‘on’. What I want so badly–for Sadie to relax and enjoy life, and for me to lighten up and luxuriate in her enjoyment–seems hopelessly out of reach sometimes.
HELP!
Occasionally when I cry out in desperation, the doggie gods shine their smiling faces on me.
“Woof! Deborah! Stop twisting yourself up like a raw hide chew! Try writing a list of the things you do with Sadie that makes her really happy.”
Okay,” I agreed, not knowing what they were up to, but not being one to trifle with the doggie gods either.
1. Greeting the people she loves. I know Sadie is crazy happy when she does her ‘tippy toe, wiggle butt’ dance which she reserves for greeting the people she’s ‘head over tails’ in love with. Gigi, our trainer; Ira, her dad and my partner; Mama Kitty and Papa Carl, Sadie’s second mom and dad; Romeo’s (her best friend) moms, Shelly and Paige; Mary Lee and Colleen at PC’s Pantry, her favorite doggie gourmet shop. And, me, too.
2. Tracking squirrels. Her muzzle stretching upwards as if pulled by a thread, Sadie yelps gleefully as she tracks squirrels crisscrossing the canopy of trees in Mama Kitty’s beautiful yard and garden.
3. Playing fetch-the-tennis-ball. Sadie screams as our car approaches the ball field, especially when Romeo is with us. It sounds like she’s in excruciating pain, but really they’re cries of ‘antici-pa-pa-pa-tion.’
And, run? This poodle runs full out to fetch the ball and just as fast to bring it back to me. No trotting to the ball and slowly sauntering back like Romeo, Mr. Cool. Sadie’s enthusiasm is 100%.
4. Splashing after the frisbee in Boulder Reservoir. “Are you ready?” I ask. Sadie sits and unswervingly focuses her attention on me. Her tail twitches rapidly across the sand. Sometimes an excited bark escapes. “Am I ready? Are you crazy? Throw the frisbee, already!”
5. Off-leash hikes. Sadie lives for long, off-leash hikes with Romeo on cool, better still, cold, snowy days. She pounces Romeo, “ruff, ruff, ruff” (he’s very tolerant of her), as they bound across the open fields, their poodle bums and tails bobbing in unison. She sparkles with pure joy.
6. A raw meaty bone. Need I say more?
7. McGuckins! McGuckins is a locally owned, everything-you-ever-needed hardware store, and it’s doggie central. Ask any Boulder dog and their tails will tell you that McGuckin’s rocks. All of the sales people wear green vests (easily identified by canine and human customers alike) with pockets full of treats.
Sadie, being Sadie, used to shy away from the clerks. But, now she confidently trots up to a ‘green vest’, looks straight into the clerk’s eyes, and wags her tail. “Treat, please.” Yes!
Such behavior might seem rude to some of you. I know it does to a friend of mine who would never permit her dog to beg. But, as Debbie Jacobs, author of fearfuldogs.com, points out, fearful dogs are entitled to a FDL, Fearful Dog License. I make sure Sadie enjoys the full benefit of hers.
8. Hide n’ seek. “Sadie. ‘Wait.'” Sadie ‘waits’ as I distribute kibble in nooks and crannies throughout the house. When I return, her eyes are bright and her ears forward. She’s ‘waiting’, and ready to leap when she hears “’Release’, ‘go find it!’” Off she goes, kicking up her hind legs as she forages from room to room, floor to floor.
9. Boxes! Ever since puppyhood I’ve been making cardboard boxes into puzzle toys for Sadie. Into the boxes I place eviscerated plush toys that I have re-filled with crumpled old cloth napkins containing a smattering of treats. Sometimes, like Russian dolls, I fit boxes within boxes, closing each one by tucking the four flaps one under the other
“Sadie,” I call. “‘Boxes!'” She dives into the cardboard, pushing her muzzle into the opening at the center of the four tucked flaps. Sometimes she grabs one of the flaps in her teeth and shakes the box until it flings open and stuffed toys and smaller boxes fly about the room. Then, a rip roaring good time ensues as she shreds the napkins and devours the goodies.
10. Clicker behavior-shaping games. Sadie is limited only by my skill, which, when it comes to shaping new behaviors, is minimal. Nonetheless, she lights up and bounces when she sees the clicker and treats come out.
Lately we’ve been working on a “wobbly board” of my own devising. Sadie, as I mentioned, prefers the ground beneath her feet to not move. So, for fun and to build confidence, we started gradually with the 3’x4′ particle board flat on the floor. Click n’ treat for one paw. Then two. Then three. Then four. Then for walking around on the board.
Next I put a towel under the board to give it a slight wobble. Back to clicking n’ treating for one paw, then two and so on. Now, hoisted on a folded towel, the board rocks, rather like a see-saw, nearly four inches off the ground, depending where she steps. Click n’ treat, treat, treat! That’s huge for both of us!
11. Spending the afternoon with Romeo at his house, ear wrestling and playing ‘catch-me-if-you-can’ around the cedar tree.
I could go on, but I think I’m getting the point. Thank you doggie gods!
I need to see the bigger picture. Yes, there’s the unpredictable big world out there that we need to learn to navigate using my best counter-conditioning and desensitization skills. And, yes, vigilance is required.
But, life should be fun too, especially for a fearful dog! (What a concept! Sadie and I both think too much and take life way too seriously!)
Nick Dodman did say in the lecture I mentioned earlier that fearful dogs need exercise. It’s helps them to chill out. I want to add that I think they need to have fun too. Lot’s of fun! Sadie needs as many endorphin delivery systems as we can devise. She deserves as much joy juice flowing through her furry brain and body as she can manage.
So now I’m thinking, Okay, every day we do at least three things that makes Sadie really happy. More, if we can.
You see where I’m headed with this. I can’t help but blow it on the vigilance front from time to time, life being unpredictable and all. But, in the “good times department”? I can be a great mom.
“Sadie, girl! What would make you really happy today?”
“Visit Mama Kitty and scurry after squirrels in her garden? You got it!”
“Take a hike with Romeo? You’re on.”
“And after dinner? Boxes! You bet.”
What makes Jasmine really happy? Being outside. Hikes, spending time at friends’ farm, going places. Walks are what she lives for.
So sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. And I’m dealing with the gluten thing too!
I hear you on the really accepting that our dogs will never be like other dogs that don’t have fear based behavior challenges. I have lowered my expectations but keep dreaming big. I like to think of Ken Ramirez’s comment that ‘desensitization never ends’. May we all live long enough!
Thanks.
Yeah. I’m still a dreamer too. Sadie has surprised me often enough that I don’t want to undercut her by imposing my limited expectations, but I don’t want to overwhelm her (or disappoint myself) by expecting too much. I guess that means I have to be paying attention ‘in the moment.’
I like the Ken Ramirez quote. Indeed.
How funny… The Shiba in Debbie’s post is mine, and the behaviorist we went to is Dr. Ogata who is the current resident at the Animal Behavior Clinic directed by Dr. Dodman 🙂 Whatever she recommended for our pup was what Dr. Dodman would have, too, if we had chosen to see him instead (with a bit more $).
I love the idea of listing up what makes our scaredy dog happy. I’ll get to it now!
How great to hear from you! I’m so happy for you and your Shiba.
“Love the dog you have!” That’s my t-shirt. Thanks for posting this. I have to be wary of things that scare Grey as he’s a big dog. And like you, have been dragged into the road. But while this is a challenge, I try now to focus on environments where he’s happy. There is a balance in rehabilitation I think. Does he really want to walk down the street with traffic or do I want him to? Sure, I can do little bits of training to help him, but it would be tiny in terms of minutes compared to a stroll to the shops. So I decided to think about the happy factor first and foremost and rehabiliation second. But as a consequence of being happier and more quality time together, he is able to cope with more of life’s challenges. He would still say “rattling plank on a bridge!!!!” Woof!
Thank you for your comment. I have to agree. Sadie is teaching me that the more opportunities she has to feel happy and confident the better able she is to deal with more challenging situations. Like you, I too have to ask: “Are we doing “x” because I want Sadie to do “x” or because she does?” Not that I can’t ask her to do things she might not otherwise be inclined to do (with help, of course), but she has to have her say too.
I love the thought behind this post. I often make the mistake of thinking my dog is “cured” after days or weeks of no negative episodes. And then all of a sudden, I will get a stern reminder that wakes me up to the reality of living with a fearful dog. Then I think back over every little thing that happened to make her react when only a day before she didn’t. Did this person move too fast, too slow, to awkward? Was I not paying enough attention? Did I tense? And on and on and on.
I think I am going to make a list of my own. Remembering all of the good times is important. There are so many of them! Much more good times than bad times. I can’t let one little scary moment take away from all of the positive. Thanks for this.
Thank you for your comment. Weird, isn’t it? How the stuff that goes wrong, the “bark and lunge” at the strange lady, takes center stage in our memory while so many more calm and happy moments get relegated to backstage. I have to keep reminding myself.
[…] Flick of Boulder Dog recently wrote a post listing many og the things that fill her dog’s heart with joy. I thought this was a […]
Yes, feel better. I still dream that Frankie will find a doggie friend — or even another human that he likes, rather than tolerates. Sometimes I wonder what’s hiding in that doggie body, a creature that’s not particularly interested in chasing other things or even sniffing very much.
He does like to guard critters — birds or rodents — that find their way into the house. But I’m not going to import any mice or open up my chimney in hopes of another pigeon or two falling in! (Don’t worry, they were fine. It was just complicated shutting Frankie away and then chasing the pigeon around with a broom to get it out of my front door.)
Frankie is a complicated little pup. Do you think he’d like a hamster friend—-in a cage, of course. But, maybe that just wouldn’t be as much fun as tracking a real rodent. Hey, how about a mechanical mouse? Or, a little rodent robot? Or, maybe that would just scare the bejeeeezus out of Frankie.
Now there’s an interesting concept — getting my pet a pet… It’s funny, I have a draft of a hamster story on my blog. Maybe I’ll incorporate it…
I’m looking forward to reading that!
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by debbie jacobs and others. debbie jacobs said: What Makes Your Dog Really Happy? (Redux) – http://bit.ly/goIli7 […]
I loved reading the advice to allow a fearful dog to be “naughty.” It’s so true that dogs have so much responsibility to live in our world and don’t often get to do really fun things that are perfectly acceptable in the doggy world.
I accidentally discovered something helpful to Honey lately. Although I wouldn’t characterize her as a fearful dog, she has shown a few sensitivities we’re working on (swinging doors, baby gates, and flapping canvas).
We’ve started K9 nose work which at this stage means just finding treats by smell. I’ve started hiding treats near these scary things (after building up over the past several weeks). Honey’s confidence and focus have improved over time and she is more motivated to find the treat than she is to fear the object. I’ve seen big improvements.
Hope you’re feeling better by now–
Thanks Pamela! Sadie loves our informal nose work games as well. No only is it fun for her to be off on a mission searching every nook and cranny of the house for goodies, I get a break from those staring brown eyes saying, I presume, “Play with me!”
This is a great post! I have worked with a number of fearful dogs ranging from puppy mill dogs to dogs that were never socialized correctly. All of you that have fearful dogs deserve medals! It takes a lot of patience and understanding. On a lighter side, my three dogs are happiest when playing fetch, including my overly confident miniature dachshund.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I just discovered your blog, and I’m so glad I did, I feel like I’ve stumbled upon a treasure! I could relate to so much you say about Sadie here, as my dog has some fear issues concerning children, and I struggle with how to handle this. I love your advice and look forward to catching up with your blog and learning more about Sadie!
Thank you for your kind words and for stopping by.